Commitment After the Hurt
- By Jesse Jake Vickers
- Published 12/12/2011
- Relationships
- Unrated
Coming from failed relationships, we need to be equipped with the right emotions before we embark on another relationship. Do not put all your focus into looking for the right man because you have to be the right person, first and foremost, to make the relationship work. You will also not be fair to your partner if you make a commitment but you’re still reeling from the pain of the last breakup.
Glorifying the pain will not help improve the situation you find yourself in; it will not even make a better person out of you. Instead, learn from the mistakes of the past and alter what needs to changed. Assess the previous relationship and change the patterns that caused its failure. In doing so, you understand more truths and realize more options.
Stop blaming yourself for what happened because blaming only reinforces your own sense of powerlessness. Things would still probably end up the same way even if you moved heaven and earth just to please your partner.
Know what kind of person you want because your thoughts will attract those kinds of people. If you are in for some serious commitment and permanence, choose somebody who shares more similarities, than opposites, with you. This could be an asset in the long stretch as you will be sharing every single day of your lives together. Essential similarities may somewhat vary but, basically, they deal with intellect, values, interests, beliefs and role expectations.
The most common mistake that people do is to
look for partners who fill the empty places in our lives or will compensate for the weaknesses we feel we have. Holding on to this thought will just promote dependence on the other. We must be complete by ourselves and consider the other as someone who complements us before making the commitment. Hence, it is of paramount importance that you share a fair deal of similarities.
Often times we are in a relationship because we are afraid of being alone. Sometimes one or both are just too anxious to get married or the idea of a wedding, preparations, favors, wedding fans, parties and all the fun the celebration brings. We don’t give ourselves enough time to know each other and our expectations become unrealistic. Many of us are also guilty of not having taken enough time to heal from the previous failed relationship and we commit to someone on the rebound.
Before committing yourself to marriage, make sure that you have let your love mature and not mistake passion for the real thing. Don’t expect relationships to survive when passions fade or a reason for loving disappears. Time gives a clearer perspective to things. Be introspective and use the time after a failed relationship to learn more about who you are, where you want to go and what you really want to do. As you discover the answers, you have something more distinct to offer someone else.
If your relationship withstands all these discovery and challenges, it’s high time to plunge into the commitment of spending the rest of your lives together, start your wedding plans, scout for the best promotional products and have a happy married life.
Glorifying the pain will not help improve the situation you find yourself in; it will not even make a better person out of you. Instead, learn from the mistakes of the past and alter what needs to changed. Assess the previous relationship and change the patterns that caused its failure. In doing so, you understand more truths and realize more options.
Stop blaming yourself for what happened because blaming only reinforces your own sense of powerlessness. Things would still probably end up the same way even if you moved heaven and earth just to please your partner.
Know what kind of person you want because your thoughts will attract those kinds of people. If you are in for some serious commitment and permanence, choose somebody who shares more similarities, than opposites, with you. This could be an asset in the long stretch as you will be sharing every single day of your lives together. Essential similarities may somewhat vary but, basically, they deal with intellect, values, interests, beliefs and role expectations.
The most common mistake that people do is to
Often times we are in a relationship because we are afraid of being alone. Sometimes one or both are just too anxious to get married or the idea of a wedding, preparations, favors, wedding fans, parties and all the fun the celebration brings. We don’t give ourselves enough time to know each other and our expectations become unrealistic. Many of us are also guilty of not having taken enough time to heal from the previous failed relationship and we commit to someone on the rebound.
Before committing yourself to marriage, make sure that you have let your love mature and not mistake passion for the real thing. Don’t expect relationships to survive when passions fade or a reason for loving disappears. Time gives a clearer perspective to things. Be introspective and use the time after a failed relationship to learn more about who you are, where you want to go and what you really want to do. As you discover the answers, you have something more distinct to offer someone else.
If your relationship withstands all these discovery and challenges, it’s high time to plunge into the commitment of spending the rest of your lives together, start your wedding plans, scout for the best promotional products and have a happy married life.
Jesse Jake Vickers
Jesse Jake Vickers enjoys writing for Hqweddingfavors.com and Corporatesnobs.com which offer promotional tote bags and wedding favors as well as a host of additional products.
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