How to Love an Unfaithful Wife - 5 Tips
- By Everett Maclachlan
- Published 12/27/2011
- Relationships
- Unrated
Consult any local ordinance, state law, book of morals and ethics, or ancient religious text on the issue of faithfulness in marriage. All of them will tell you the same thing: being faithful is highly-valued and expected, while being unfaithful is at best unfavorable and at worst a sin.
There is a reason why so many of our revered legal and moral compasses spend so much time telling us that being unfaithful is wrong: because unfaithfulness and cheating on one's spouse is not at all as uncommon as we would hope.
Still, despite the fact that infidelity is not an uncommon occurrence, knowing this does not lessen the pain that your wife's infidelity can bring. If your wife has cheated on you - or if you suspect that she has done so - it can be a very painful realization indeed.
The possible range of emotions and feelings that you might experience after learning that your wife has cheated can run the gamut from anger to embarrassment to shame to sadness.
If you are wondering how to love an unfaithful wife, here are 5 tips:
1. Start by hashing out your own feelings on what has been going on:
The intensity of your feelings might be pretty powerful right about now. In fact, you are probably feeling a number of emotions all at once. This is to be expected. After all, learning that your wife has been cheating on you is probably not something you were at all ready for.
In order to get to a place where you can take reasonable, intelligent next steps in your marriage, it is
very important that you learn to tease apart those complex emotions you are feeling. Get a journal or talk to a trusted friend or counselor about your feelings. Doing so will help you sort them out and process them.
2. Decide whether you still love and want to stay with your wife:
You may still have deep feelings for your wife, but ask yourself: do you still love her? Do you want to stay in your marriage? Be honest about how you answer these questions.
3. Take the bull by the horns and bring everything you know to her attention:
Now, it is time to have a real heart-to-heart with your wife. For the time-being, it will be very important that you avoid showing her any anger or frustration. Instead, be cool-headed and calm. Your mission: let her know that you know what has been going on. And, start a dialogue about what you two are going to do next.
4. Find out what she wants out of the relationship:
Even though you may be afraid of what her answer will be, boldly ask your wife what she wants out of your relationship or wants to try to make things work. Does she still love and want to be with you?
5. Seek expert help on how to survive this together:
If you have determined that - despite all of the pain and heartache that her cheating has caused - you want to stay with your wife and she you, it is time to seek out expert outside advice on how to move through this together. Having the objectivity and expertise of an outsider will greatly improve your chances of pulling through this.
Consider these 5 tips as you deal with your wife's infidelity and figure out how to love an unfaithful wife.
There is a reason why so many of our revered legal and moral compasses spend so much time telling us that being unfaithful is wrong: because unfaithfulness and cheating on one's spouse is not at all as uncommon as we would hope.
Still, despite the fact that infidelity is not an uncommon occurrence, knowing this does not lessen the pain that your wife's infidelity can bring. If your wife has cheated on you - or if you suspect that she has done so - it can be a very painful realization indeed.
The possible range of emotions and feelings that you might experience after learning that your wife has cheated can run the gamut from anger to embarrassment to shame to sadness.
If you are wondering how to love an unfaithful wife, here are 5 tips:
1. Start by hashing out your own feelings on what has been going on:
The intensity of your feelings might be pretty powerful right about now. In fact, you are probably feeling a number of emotions all at once. This is to be expected. After all, learning that your wife has been cheating on you is probably not something you were at all ready for.
In order to get to a place where you can take reasonable, intelligent next steps in your marriage, it is
2. Decide whether you still love and want to stay with your wife:
You may still have deep feelings for your wife, but ask yourself: do you still love her? Do you want to stay in your marriage? Be honest about how you answer these questions.
3. Take the bull by the horns and bring everything you know to her attention:
Now, it is time to have a real heart-to-heart with your wife. For the time-being, it will be very important that you avoid showing her any anger or frustration. Instead, be cool-headed and calm. Your mission: let her know that you know what has been going on. And, start a dialogue about what you two are going to do next.
4. Find out what she wants out of the relationship:
Even though you may be afraid of what her answer will be, boldly ask your wife what she wants out of your relationship or wants to try to make things work. Does she still love and want to be with you?
5. Seek expert help on how to survive this together:
If you have determined that - despite all of the pain and heartache that her cheating has caused - you want to stay with your wife and she you, it is time to seek out expert outside advice on how to move through this together. Having the objectivity and expertise of an outsider will greatly improve your chances of pulling through this.
Consider these 5 tips as you deal with your wife's infidelity and figure out how to love an unfaithful wife.
Everett Maclachlan
Find tools and techniques needed to survive an affair that were designed by an expert who has helped over 10,000 couples do the same at: We Can Survive This Affair.
View all articles by Everett Maclachlan