Losing someone you love... it's a crazy thing. One minute you're talking every day, the next minute you're not allowed to contact him at all. How can you just turn off your feelings for someone, like shutting off a flowing faucet? How can you be expected to just forget about your ex boyfriend, as if the two of you never knew each other?

The answer is simple: you really can't. And the good news? Your boyfriend can't either.

It's human nature to get attached. The emotional bonds you formed during your relationship run deep, and they're not easily severed. Just because your ex ended your relationship doesn't mean he doesn't still love you, or have feelings of connection. It's these connections that make it possible for a couple to get back together, regardless of the circumstances or current situation.

Right now you're feeling an amazing flood of memories, and this because you fear losing your boyfriend for good. You may already feel him slipping away. Yet at the same time, you need to understand that your ex boyfriend also feels these things. The problem for him is this: since he's the one who ended things, right now he can't show it.

When your boyfriend broke up with you, it was a very hard decision on his part. That being said, he had the advantage of running it through his mind a dozen or more times first. By the time he sprung the breakup on you, he was prepared... you were not. This is why he might seem hard, cold, or uncaring. This is the facade he has to put up in order to keep the breakup going. If he were to give in and show his true emotions, the two of you would get back together.

This is also why a guy will break contact with you after dumping you. Knowing when to contact your ex boyfriend is hard, because he'll seem to shun any type of connection. Reach out to him too soon, and he runs away. Try to chase him, and you could scare him off for good. Only by adapting a more uncaring, non-confrontational approach to the breakup can you hope to get your ex to notice you again. Because once he realizes you're not chasing after him? Your ex boyfriend will start to miss you, need you, and will become very interested in you once more.

Contact is an important part of any reconciliation. You can't make it too soon, but then again, you can't wait forever. After he breaks things off, your boyfriend isn't likely to be going anywhere - this is something you need to tell yourself time and time again. Unless he had another girl in mind, your ex is going to spend some time alone - or possibly with friends. He's not looking to hook up with the first girl he sees, and he's definitely not looking for another serious relationship.

Time is on your side here, and that's why you can't chase him. Move too fast and too soon, and your ex will start seeing you as needy and desperate. But put forth the image of independence and of doing your own thing? Not only will your ex boyfriend wonder why you're not trying to save the relationship, but he'll actually respect you for doing your own thing. Gaining his respect and admiration are two huge parts of getting your boyfriend back. When you execute these behaviors, it causes your ex to take steps in your direction... eventually leading to getting him back.

Want your boyfriend back? You'd better have a step by step plan. If you're expecting to just pick up the phone and 'wing it', you're in for a HUGE disappointment.